I honestly don't remember what "day" it is on my journey, although I have a pretty good guess since it hasn't been that long, but I'm moving past merely counting days and onward to what Jesus has for me, for my summer.
I just have to say that God's presence is so much better than anything I've ever experienced. I should remember that from four summers ago, but this time, I'm learning it in a new, deeper way of sorts. No, I am not struggling for every breath like I was before, but I am having to daily give up my inhibitions and conform them to God's will. The summer of 2005, I didn't really have a strong will. I couldn't really breathe, let alone think about doing much else. Today, though, I have all of my inhibitions and a very, very strong will. A will that has strayed many times in the past year, a will that is daily re-conforming itself to Christ through discipline, and most of all, because of His grace that He extends to me in measures that are far beyond what I deserve.
At the end of the day, I love Jesus Christ. I love how faithful He is to me, how much He desires my fellowship, how sacrificially He loves me even when I am so filthy and unlovable. In simple terms, Jesus is so very good to me.
Micah 6:8 is the simplest way I can state what God's will is for my life right now:
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?" (AMP)
You see, I don't have the answers to my summer. Only God does, and I'm beginning to realize the answers don't lie in a decision of whether or not I'm getting married but instead in how much of Him I will delight. Psalm 37:4 has always been one of my favorite Scriptures, and I'm coming back to its timeless truth once more:
It says, "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart."
I am once again desiring in the LORD and not in any functional Saviors, including the love of another human being....and in-turn, He's truly giving me the desires of my heart. My desire is His presence above all else...
Amen.
I am not, but I know I AM
- Amber
- Ohio, United States
- In short: I adore Jesus and the way He moves in my life, the way He convicts me at the oddest time and through so many different circumstances. I love how He's continuing to teach me how to really embrace humanity, how to not only say I take up my cross but instead how to bear others crosses for them, how to intercess on behalf of those who are seeking freedom that can only be found in Jesus. Plain and simple, every breath is because of and for my Savior, my Healer and my Redeemer. Of course, as all humans do, I long for completion other places at times, whether through my journal, my published love letter to Jesus, aka 'Breathtaking', my to-do list, my closest friends, or even through my Christ-like, amazing boyfriend I long to marry. In the end, though, as Shane and Shane sings, I am learning to embrace accusations made by Satan. It''s true, after all; cursed are the ones who can't abide and, although I so often seem to try, I can't gain salvation ...but, as he always does, the Evil One also thankfully forgot to sing over me the refrain -- Jesus saves.
No comments:
Post a Comment